Dear Former Shepherd,

Sheep #52 here. I wanted to let you know we’re safe. No, we didn’t wander off though some have intimated as much. Funny, how shepherds talk amongst themselves. It became apparent to me after nine years in your flock we needed a new shepherd. I’m sure you’re continuing on with your business as usual. Know that we’re okay though a bit tired and wounded. It was two months before anyone started missing us so I’m not sure it even matters to you.

You see, when I noticed your lack of presence with other sheep in distress I grew concerned. Your “care” has been questionable in my estimation. You’ve got a great sheep pen. Beautiful actually. The best the wool of the flock could fetch. And all that to bring in – more sheep. Okay.

A disconnect began to grow in my mind. I thought shepherds were meant to feed the sheep. But the main one I see getting fed around here is you. Your ego, position of leadership, prestige. Your name.

I thought shepherds were suppose to care for the flock. But instead of guiding us we are driven – to exhaustion. Annoyed with our sheep-ness, you began yelling. What’s up with that? Why scream? Shepherds don’t drive sheep. Butchers do.

I thought shepherds were suppose to lay down their lives for the sheep. The only one I see getting slaughtered around here is us.

I thought shepherds were suppose to guard the sheep. Honestly, I need the most protection from your hired hands.

Then, I was tasked to be a donkey. A pack mule so to speak. You saddled me with things that I should have never have had to carry. And then I’m to blame when I can’t carry the burden? Mr. Shepherd, I’m a sheep.

It’s a fact that we aren’t especially smart. Yeah, we get ourselves into messes. Sometimes we wander off. Everybody needs a little help now and then. Oxen get in ditches. Sheep wander. Camels… What do camels do? I hear they always trying to fit through places they have very little chance of squeezing through. Talk about a lack of self-awareness! But I digress.

There is one thing I do know. And that’s the voice of THE shepherd – the Good One. And yours? Well, I’m not sure if its changing or that I’m just growing in my sheep senses. But your voice – it doesn’t sound like His. And your actions? They are not like His either. We sheep – we whisper about His voice to each other. We contemplate the Good Shepherd a lot. We long to see Him. The Lord is our Shepherd. And here’s what He told me…

“You will not lack what you need”.

He knows what I need – even more than I do.

“I’ll cause you to lie down in green pastures and lead you beside still waters”.

That sounds like feeding and protecting from hazards I may be unaware of.

“I’ll restore your soul”.

You know, if you only know me as Sheep #52 that doesn’t feel very restorative to my soul. I’m not even sure you “see” me – except when its time for a fleecing.

“I’ll lead you on good paths because of Who I Am”.

You’re choice of paths often seem less than good, just, or righteous.

“When we have to go through dark places, I won’t leave you.”

You left us, Mr. Former Shepherd. Literally abandoned us. Giving usspace while either I or my lambs are being abused by hired hands isn’t good shepherding.

“I’ll use the tools at my disposal not to drive you but to guide you. Care for you. And that will be comforting.”

Yeah, correction doesn’t leave a mark. It points to a path.

“We will eat together in unsafe conditions even around unsavory people. When you get injured I’ll bring the healing. When you want company, I will invite you to be up close to me and there will be no question in your mind you are welcome.”

No one caused me more pain than you. My wounds? You didn’t heal, only mocked. My cup? I think it was BYOB. I was only welcomed for what I could “do” for you. Not because you really cared to know me. See me. Nurture me.

“My Goodness and mercy will encompass you. I’m leading you to a place where genuine relationship with your Creator will flourish.”

All that to say, the GOOD Shepherd showed up. I left your “care” and could only trust that the Good Shepherd would find me. When I was disoriented due to your brand of “leadership” I knew I just had to get out of there with my lambs. We left. Looking for a place to be who our Creator made us to be. Without a shepherd for a bit, but never doubting the Good Shepherd would find us. It was dark. Even the stars hid their faces. The bleating of my offspring echoed the cry of my heart longing to be delivered.

I wasn’t “lost” to be found, mind you. I was escaping to be rescued. And then I heard His voice – the one I have known from my youth. Calling me, not #52. But by my name. “He knows His own”. He greeted me.

“Here you are! You’re out here all alone! Let’s look you over. Are you ok? Any wounds? Oh…oh my. That’s a big one. Hear, let me take care of that. This oil – its the best you know. We’ll just drench those nasty cuts in it. I bet you’re hungry. You hungry? Let’s get you some place for the night – you and your young. Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I got your lambs. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Can you walk a little further? Come with me. Trust me. Listen to my voice. I’m so glad I found you. My heart is full of joy to see you. Let’s get you to safety. Did you know I’d been looking for since you the day you left?…”

He walked me and my young to a new flock. A new shepherd. We shared stories along the way. It was quite a journey. I don’t even know this new flock well, but He brought me to a new place. I’m trusting this is where He wants me to be. Even if only for now.

All that to say, good luck with your shepherding! Gotta go for now. I hear the shepherd is taking us to a new place today. I’m a little nervous about the journey, but I won’t forget the big lessons from the last few months…

Shepherd don’t abandon their sheep. Or beat them. Or scream at them when guidance is needed. Or command them to carry burdens they were never intended to carry. Their presence is a comfort, and they must reflect the mission of the Good Shepherd.

Signed, Allan (Sheep #52)