Latest Journal Entries...
Between Us
“Between Us” Both of us were laying on the ground adjacent to the barb-wired fence – the exposer of formerly agile men. It was commonplace for us to cross fences on the farm. Some were electrified and some weren’t. If…
Mark Me
Mark me for your ownCraft this bodyIt is yoursStewarding it is my delightWho am I kidding?It’s my challengeMy cross to bear”What happened to you?Does that hurt?Why are you this way?”The questions of a child utteredOf an adult still wonderingWhat was…
Trust
It’s the end of fearThe antidote to worryStrong medicine that must be taken as directedTrust Him who made youTrust Him who is the Beginning and the EndThe Story-teller of the epic in which you will play a partDon’t be afraidLearn…
Reformed
Forged in the furnaces of angerGenerational. Modeled. Hot. SharpThe stuff I was made of unknown to meMolded into a weaponNot a toolThe smith purposed in their heart to shape meOr maybe the heart of another was in playInto what?What was…
Dear Former Shepherd
Dear Former Shepherd, Sheep #52 here. I wanted to let you know we’re safe. No, we didn’t wander off though some have intimated as much. Funny, how shepherds talk amongst themselves. It became apparent to me after nine years in…
Shelf
Here I sitBetween the pagesUnopened, unseenIn a library of other storiesDusty, ForgottenOnly alive when I’m being readDiscussed ConsumedAm I a novel?Vast, EncompassingWorth the timeRecommended to othersSelf perception is my weaknessI only know the turning of the next pageMaybe a short…
Baggage
You don’t believe.The healing of your wounds will never come. God will never hear, or if He does – He will do nothing.He left. He’s silent. – But He cares!How?Who drops their kid in an unknow placeAnd says “I’ll be…
April 17
Writing – often my words are crystal clear. A refreshing drink of thirst quenching water. Welcome sight for many to enjoy. Those are good days. Sometimes the phrases flow like mountain streams. Swollen with freshly melted snow. Rushing on its…
In Between
There is nothing overly significant about this day that I can remember. Nothing to memorialize or prioritize. It’s a moment between battles. Likely, I won’t remember this day as significant next year either. Today, I’m tired. Staggeringly weary. Hoping to…
Battles
“What are you trying to do? Who do you think you are? Who do you think is going to change their mind? Are you sure you really believe that yourself? Did you forget your roots? Did you forget your failures?…
Five Years
It’s been five years, Mama. Five years of not hearing your voice, but hearing it every day. “Remember whose you are and Who you belong to.” I’ll never shake that. Nor do I want to. Not your little boy anymore….
Brigand
There are things Too wonderful. Too glorious For the Creator to entrust to you. Power producing combinations. Formulas beyond our grasp. Mysteries we’ll never comprehend. The finite blindly grasping at the Infinite. Things that if we knew how to do…
Today
I will Listen more than I speak.I’ll listen To Him, to those near And echos of those afar. I will “One another” the Body of Christ.Weep with those needing comfort. Disturb the comfortable. Live in light of the Gospel. All…
Maybe I Should Explain
Thanks for opening this page. I’m glad you’re here! Feel free to read over my shoulder, but understand my writing is part of how I process. My thoughts often get murky as I sift to find that which is true….
It’s Not You… It’s Me
This has been hard for me to write. But it needs to be written. I’ve messed up some things. A lot of things actually. And some things I thought I knew… well, my world has been turned upside down. It’s…
Opening the Wardrobe Door
If you would have told me thirty years ago that I would be a father of five I would have laughed at you. It is unknown to most but I was not only afraid of being a father, I was terrified….
Pass The Pen
I like to write. But sometimes you need to pass the pen to someone else who needs to be heard. That’s what I’m doing today. In the last few years I’ve had new teachers inserted into my life by the…
“Is The Sun Awake?”
I’ve been up since early. It’s my custom. There are things I do while its still dark out to get ready for the day. Meeting the sun every morning is a constitutional. As the light begins to break the horizon…
The Problem of Familiarity
Me: Father? Father: Yes, my Child? Me: You know it really bugs me when you say that. Father: Why? Me: I dunno. It’s just so…I dunno. Personal. Father: You’d rather I be impersonal? Me: Well no. That’s not it. Father:…
You Have No Choice
Me: Jesus? JC: Yes? Me: People are hateful. JC: I know. Me: Why can’t people just be kind to each other? JC: Abel asked me the same thing. Me: And that was his own brother! JC: Sin is sinister. Me:…
Writing
Recently Jackie Hill Perry said: “Writing is hard. Scratch that. Writing well is hard.” The advent of social media has created a new…
It Was Time
If you know me at all, you know I’m sentimental. Today was the day I let go of an old friend. For 33 years we have been together. Our relationship was forged in my youth with other brothers in arms…
I’ll See Her Soon
I’m up early. The little one that calls me Papa – she’s coming to see me today. There isn’t much finer than having little arms squeeze your neck or listen to her little voice describe something I’d consider a trivial…
The Sound of Birds
I was deep in thought and had the silenced interrupted by the sound of songs. It’s been snowing for a few days now. Not much foraging to be had by the feathered ones. But there was a break in the…
The Formula
In our Western minds, we like formulas. We like steps. We want predictable. “Do these four things and _________ will happen”. “12 step your way to _________.” “Become __________ with these six revolutionary processes.” Listen, Jesus doesn’t…
Walk with Me…
I’m still trying to understand. It’s like being in school, finishing one semester, starting the next, and still trying to piece together the implications of what you “just” learned into your worldview. I like for everything to be neat and…
To Those Under My Care
It’s been quite a while since I shared anything on this blog. Not that I haven’t been writing – I have. But my journals in the last few years are pouring forth things that would make some saints blush and…
I Didn’t Know…
This afternoon… “How did I miss that Roy Daniel had cancer. He passed away earlier today”, Beth said. “What???” – Stunned doesn’t even begin to touch the wind of emotions that began sweeping over my heart. “Jesus…” was all I…
God Almighty
It was dark. Really dark and stormy night. Don’t you love stories that start out like that? This isn’t one of those stories. Well it WAS dark. It was around 4 AM. It’s suppose to be dark that time of…
Missing Her Hand
It’s been a long time since I was a child walking beside my Mama her holding my hand. She would hold mine when we went places. Didn’t matter where it was. And when I was uncertain or feeling insecure in…
Ellie
Right now, I am “Papa” to one little girl in this world. That’s ok. She can’t speak my name yet but I look forward to the day I hear it from her. She doesn’t know me, but I’ve known her…
What Makes A Disciple?
How do we train up followers of Jesus to go the distance – those entrusted to our care? As I have contemplated this, I’ve come to this conclusion. I am convinced “Discipleship” is not a class you take or just…
“Have You Considered My Servant ________?”
“Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” Job 1:8 Cold hard truth. Life’s tough and God hasn’t promised to spare…
Let the Wind Blow
Children are not leaves to be pressed in books of remembrance. They are not to be kept on shelves away from the elements. That only leads to brittle skeletons. To memories of those whose memories fade. Sure, they are cherished by…
I Got Nothing…
A family affiliated with the Jehovah’s Witness approached me today wanting to share with me. I said, “I don’t mind you sharing with me, but I need to share something with you first. They obliged. I said, “I’m a convicted…
A Brief Conversation…
The characters in this brief but true drama are my youngest Jesse, God, and yours truly. Jesse: Daddy, I was wondering if we could go to the bank and cash this birthday check. Me: We are pretty pushed up time-wise…
People People
I’m often asked by my Bride to get something out of the refrigerator or cabinet for her. She can give me specific instructions as to the color of the container, wording on the label, or even the general proximity. Yet…
Anything Will Help
I’ve been testing God. I’ve been seeing if he can be taken at His word. He says He wants to work in me and through me. How can a person struggling with his own issues do anything for anyone else? …
It’s All About Appearances
I suffer from a horrible disease. Maybe you have heard of it. It’s called “analysis paralysis”. I’ve been attempting to get started on this blog for the better part of three months. Why haven’t I gotten started? It’s not laziness,…
Dedication (well sorta)
This isn’t a book. There isn’t even anything written yet. But I feel it appropriate to mention a few people. There are few blessings in my life greater than my kids Grace, Luke, Noah, Ruth, and Jesse. They are not only…